Of course starting a family brings up brand-new battles in your relationship. For instance, there's a good chance you'll have different ideas on a baby name. But so many unexpected arguments come up when you become parents. Here are 10 you might not see coming.
1. If you're spoiling your kid too much. "Oh, we'd never let our children turn into spoiled brats" is what every parent thinks ... until their playroom (yes, you have a playroom now) becomes a bona fide Toys"R"Us. One of you wants to just keep donating the playthings to a charity, while the other says it's time to ask your in-laws to tone down the generosity. Good luck figuring all of that out.
2. If you're babying your kid too much. When your toddler falls down, your first instinct is to scoop him into your arms and cover him with kisses. Your husband's response: "Get up. You're fine." Tough love and gentle love approaches don't necessarily meld well.
3. Who changed the last poop-splosion. No sane person wants to handle multiple diaper blowouts in a row, no matter how many easy pee changes fall in between. As your child wails because he's covered neck to knees in shit, you'd go as far as calling witnesses to prove you were the cleanup crew last time.
4. When to call the doctor. If you talked to the pediatrician about every health concern, you would never hang up the phone. And the difference between harmless spit-up and something more nefarious isn't at all obvious. One of you will want to take the wait-and-see approach. The other will need to secure third and maybe even fourth opinions.
5. When to cheap out and when to splurge on all the baby stuff. You order a box of the budget-friendlier, no-name diapers from Amazon, and then your baby's butt turns a color you didn't think human skin could. You vow to stick to name-brand everything from here on out. A month later, the credit card bill comes, and it's a huge headache hashing out how, where, and on what you're going to save.
6. How to handle your kid getting sick ... all over the place. Unless you keep a barf bag handy at all times, you have to choose: Collect throw-up in your cupped palms or let it contaminate the nearest surface. If you fail to prevent puke from filling the car seat's crevices when your partner would've used his bare hands to spare a trip to the car wash, so help you.
7. Whether you can see your baby breathing on the monitor. You may stare at that little screen at 3 a.m. until you see that little chest rise, despite your partner swearing he saw the baby breathe at 2:56 and begging you to go the fuck to sleep.
8. What your child should call his butt. You grew up with tushy; Dad's only ever called it a heiney. There's not really a way to compromise there. And just wait until it's time to talk penises and vaginas…
9. If a piece of food is too large for your toddler's throat. You're cutting up the chicken nuggets, and your version of kid-size chunks looks fine. But in your partner's opinion, you're apparently just itching to perform the Heimlich today.
10. Whether your kid can see you naked. There's no better potty-training tactic than letting him watch a grown-up using the toilet the way he'll need to. But Dad might not welcome guests in the bathroom — or may complain about you undressing in front of your preschooler. Getting on the same page about parental nudity is unexpectedly challenging.
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