- Begin with a simple Hi.
Though hugely underestimated, the simplest approach can often turn out to be most effective. As social creatures, human beings are conditioned to be courteous and responsive to social overtures. So if you walk up to a girl at a get-together and say a casual ‘Hi’ accompanied with a natural smile, chances are that she will respond similarly. And once you have got her attention you can introduce yourself and take the conversation further. The other advantage of this opening is that it works equally well when not much is happening around you, say when you are waiting for a bus or at a cafe and wish you knew how to chat up the nice-looking girl in the table next to you.
- Look for something in common.
Yet another effective way of starting a conversation with an unknown girl in a social context is to talk about anything that you may have in common. For instance, if you are at a neighbor’s barbecue party and happen to come across a girl you like, reveal that you live two houses away and then ask her how she knows the hosts. This gives you a chance not only to establish your own credentials, for instance that you are so-and-so and are the host’s neighbor but also allows you to know more about her without getting personal.
- Take in the situation.
As you walk up to a girl to open a conversation, look around you and comment on something that appears to be interesting. If you are a friend’s birthday bash, appreciate the music that is playing and then perhaps ask the girl about her favorite band. The main advantages of a situational opener are not only that it makes for a neutral comment and can be used to take the conversation further but that it can be used in a variety of locations like when you are in a bookshop or perhaps walking the dog in the park. However you need to be a quick thinker and seize on an appropriate comment before the situation changes or the girl moves away.
- Pay a compliment.
This might seem a cheeky thing to do especially to a girl you are meeting for the first time. But if done with wit and finesse, you may end up impressing her as well. The way to go about this is not to parrot a line that can be used for any other girl but to make an effort to notice something unique about her and then comment on it. For instance if she is wearing a ruby pendant, compliment on her on how classy it looks. She will not only be pleased at the compliment but also appreciate the fact that you have noticed her good taste. Girls usually put a lot of effort into these things and finding someone to notice and appreciate them makes them happy.
- Ask about her.
This approach may seem to be done to death but as far as getting results is concerned, it rarely fails. This is because of the simple reason that all girls, guys too for that matter, like to talk about themselves. However make an attempt to go beyond general questions like “What is your favorite pastime” and try to be more specific like “Where did you go for your last vacation?”. Or perhaps take a more exploratory approach like “How do you usually spend your Sunday mornings?”
- Make use of props.
If you are uncomfortable with asking about a girl right away, look for objects around you that can act as conversation starters. You can use the tasty entrees or the evocative lighting at a poolside party to open a conversation with a female guest. Here too the biggest advantage is that it lets the conversation take off in a neutral and safe way. Once you get a positive response from the girl you can take it further like admitting you have a zen for Thai cuisine and then asking about the kind of food she likes.
- Ask open-ended questions.
Very often people make the mistake of asking questions which can be sufficiently answered with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’, for instance, “Are you interested in sports” or “Did you catch the latest Twilight movie?”. Rather frame your questions so that your listener is encouraged to speak further on her likes and dislikes, as for instance “What do you think of the way Stephanie Meyer’s novels have been adapted for the Twilight film series?”. Open-ended questions will not only keep the conversation going but your listener will in fact be pleased to have her opinions sought by you.
- Avoid getting personal.
Avoid getting personal with a girl as you open a conversation with her. While it is alright to compliment a unique aspect and that too with class and finesse, don’t make the comment too personal or you will come across as a jerk. Above all, talking about her figure, clothes or features in a sexual context is a complete no.
- Also stay away from controversial topics.
Stay away from controversial topics as you just begin to get to know a girl. Politics and religion may make for exciting discussions in a debating club or a literary circle but are hardly appropriate ways to open a conversation in a social context.
- Finally, keep it simple and fun.
Remember the girl you intend to chat up is at this social get-together to enjoy herself. And if you can use wit and humor to give her that, she is sure to respond to you and get the conversation going.
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